Why am I SO scared of Mediocrity?

Why am I SO scared of Mediocrity?

By : Yasmin Razack - limitlesswomen.ca

More and more I have noticed this phrase popping up around the Internet, “…do not fall into the trap of mediocrity…” It seems to be everywhere…or it seems to be what I am noticing more and more.

As a result the voice in my head screaming, “ YOU ARE BECOMING MEDIOCRE…QUICK DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. NOW!”

Through an intense coaching session I realized that what drives a large percent of my behavior is this top fear of mine that screams I am becoming or “being mediocre.”

Yes.  I realized it is not a small but a HUGE fear of mine.

But want exactly does that mean?

Google gives the following definition:

Mediocrity ~ ordinariness as a consequence of being average and not outstanding, averageness, ordinariness, mundaneness, mudanity- the quality of being commonplace and ordinary.

I wonder how there is such a thing as being mediocre…like in comparison to what? For example I find almost everyone in my inner circle EXTRAordinary in some way…but that is because I know who they are. I have history and in someway they have touched my life in extraordinary ways, by virtue of who they are and who they have become to be in my life.

But I am not sure YOU or the ‘average’ person would find the same people I find EXTRAordinary.

And at the moment the two people that fascinate me the most are my children, Kamea (3 yrs. Old) and Khyam ( 18 mos.)

So where does this definition come from and more importantly why does it exist?

And why am I so obsessed with it?

Is there a fire burning inside of all of us to Stand Out? According to researchers like Marcus Buckingham there is a fire inside all of us- but what separates us from those who are and those who are not mediocre?

I absolutely love my job, in every way possible there is to love a job. I feel BLESSED to be working as a Manager of Global Citizenship and Equity Education- it is in fact my DREAM  (9-5) job.

On top of that I have Limitless Women ( side-business) – also a dream I worked super hard at to achieve and it feels fabulous to see it come to fruition.

And last but not least I have an adoring husband with two beautiful children. So this is not about complaining in any way where I am…but it is not where I am, but where I want to go that is the question.

According to Malcolm Gladwell and many other’s it takes you 10, 000 hours of doing something to achieve Mastery- which is what he claims Bill Gates, The Beatles and Steve Jobs did….but there was little if ANY references to women.

At all.

However I did read Shania Twian’s autobiography who claims she did her 10k hours as a young child so she could both help feed her family and her passion...her superstardom came later-at the time she had no kids.

So my question remains. How can you become a Master of anything as woman with a passion for family and motherhood? For women who feel responsible for being responsible and not neglecting their roles as mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, colleague etc….what does becoming ABOVE average look like? Feel like?

Not being mediocre for me will come at a cost. In coaching we call it ‘switching cost’- in other words what would it cost me if I were to FULLY pursue what I wanted to achieve in life ….I would have to give up something or give something LESS attention.

Can’t do that right now.

I would also have to sacrifice a lot of things and/or ask others around me to sacrifice in order for me to pursue this burning desire to address this ‘ becoming mediocre” fear inside of me.

And I know I cannot make that decision now…but what I can do is small decisions along the way that lead me to my goals of being extraordinary.  What is always clear and should always be clear is my purpose in life- why I am here: that is what keeps me feeling okay for the moment. Because I know each day I can live out that purpose in all I do.

Yes there are MANY reasons why we are here, but discovering your LIFE PURPOSE allows you to truly live your life to the fullest daily and address any fears you may have…especially the number one fear in all of us “that you are not enough.“

Do you know your Life Purpose?

Yasmin Razack is a Personal + Professional Life Coach who works with women in transition to unlock their limitless potential in all aspects of life. For more information please visit limitlesswomen.ca or email her at yasmin@limitlesswomen.ca.

Miami Heat meets the Power of the Brain + Usain Bolt

Miami Heat meets the Power of the Brain + Usian Bolt

5 Things I want you to know about my Miami Trip

By:Yasmin Razack

limitlesswomen.ca

When I landed in the picturesque trendy city of Miami I had no idea how transformative the trip was going to be. I was leaving my 2 children for the longest time ever – 5 days, and I was to complete course on the Neuroscience of Change and Transformation. Something I knew nothing about.

The brillant Dr. Srini Pillay

The entire time I thought the MOST about Limitless Women, as it was a course focused on how to leverage brain science within the context of coaching.  After completing the course I wish EVERY women alive could understand how to utilize the power of the brain in order to embrace the very essence of what makes them unique and not only use this to their advantage but to work on eliminating very things that hold us back….from success.

One powerful thing that happened to me is that I was able to let go of my constant ‘obsessing’ about the kids; or I would argue unhealthy worrying about the children when I am not with them.  What I did do instead was focus on being present.

Fully present. And it felt good…REALLY good.

I did this using brain-based insights that worked to train my brain differently.

And it worked…I am not going to write “ I didn’t miss the kids….” But I will say the suffocation I normally feel being apart from them did not exist at all on this trip.

5 Key Insights were:

             1. "It is simply impossible to change without your brain changing. Good thing is that it can…but just because something can does not mean it will. That is why you live your life outside your capabilities.” - Dr. Srini Pillay

“     2. "Effective envisioning involves not just the ability to see things, but the ability to feel things as well. The brain is more likely to change when thought and emotion are aligned.”- - Dr. Srini Pillay

3     3. “Clarity of mind and intention are powerful partners especially when what is intended involves a leaning into action.” - Dr. Srini Pillay

             4. Things are often not as they are, but as you wish to see them.”

            5. "In order for people to great, they have to surrender to the power of their own resistance”  - Dr. Srini Pillay

What was the most incredible part is that were able to understand how these ideas work right away; we put them into practice in the course….using OUR OWN ISSUES!

I feel powerful beyond words with this new knowledge…!

Lastly, for the city of Miami you will never know what you will experience, who you will run into and the energy of this city is on another level.  It has its own unique flavour and style you just feel being there and going to its various attractions.

I had to go to the lobby for something at 2:00am and who did I happen to run into was that fastest man in the world: Usain Bolt himself.

My cousin Corrine, Usain Bolt and me in the Mondrian lobby

Super calm, cool and collected.

I was a blubbering fool fascinated by his dominance this past Olympics asking every question underneath the sun:

How did you do it?

You made it look so easy!

His response was simply, “Its all about winning.” Although he did reference the intense training, I thought about brain science once again. He has the ability to train his brain to a level of superiority and discipline to win: as most Olympic athletes do.  And we are all amazed by it…it is the very thing that separates us from one another.

How do you want to train YOUR brain to achieve excellence in life?

Yasmin Razack is a Personal + Professional Life Coach who works with women in transition to unlock their limitless potential in all aspects of life. For more information please visit limitlesswomen.ca or email her at yasmin@limitlesswomen.ca.

What Men Notice + My Purple Nails

What Men Notice + My Purple Nails
By: Yasmin Razack ~ limitlesswomen.ca

So this past Saturday night my husband and I attended a wedding where we were called on stage with six other lucky couples to engage in an activity to win a prize. I was all for it, and my LEO personality wanted to win that prize no matter what. I waited for the instructions:

“We are going to play a game to test the husbands/boyfriends to see how much they pay attention to what their wives/girlfriends are wearing” The men were immediately turned away from us so they couldn’t see a thing.

Ohhhh no. We were couple number 5 out of 6 so I was able to gage the questions before the MC came to us:” What colour are your partner’s bracelets? Shoes? Earrings etc”. I knew immediately we were doomed, I just didn’t know how bad. I hid my hands underneath my sari because I KNEW my husband would NOT have a clue about my bracelets/rings etc.

The MC comes to me, takes my hands out from underneath my sari and asks Vim, “What colour are her nails…?” His answer, “ Ughhh red…no, no Purple!!” he said nervously.

I had a French Manicure. And never in my life have I had red or purple nails.

Which leads to my point. What do men REALLY notice on women? I often used to ask these questions and yes I heard answers related to body parts, good skin, hair and the rare occasion clothes or fashion.  But I often joke with my husband if I were to dye my hair ‘bright pink’ one day I think it would take a lot for him to even notice….why?

I am no expert in this field but as a woman who is somewhat obsessed with fashion and takes a lot of time, energy, thought and money into how I look at that moment I thought, “…he doesn’t even notice!! Why do I do it?”

Yes, there is the dialogue that you look good for yourself, and how you present yourself to the world is a reflection of how much you value yourself. I am not arguing these points, nor am I saying that looking good has no value to it because I believe that it does.

What I would like to say is as a Limitless Woman, for all the time we spend shopping, doing our nails, picking the right outfit, shoes and of course the mother of all things: worrying about our weight and what we are eating:

Who are we really doing it for? And what else could we be doing with our time and energy in our relationships to make it healthier, happier and everlasting?

Recently, the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project studied the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women and found that,

“While sexual intimacy, commitment and communication are important, the focus on generosity adds a new dimension to our understanding of marital success. Though this conclusion may seem fairly self-evident, it’s not always easy to be generous to a romantic partner”

Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning.

In essence 50 % of couples that were more generous to each other were happier. It said “successful couples say or do at least five positive things for each negative interaction with their partner.” Not easy with full-time jobs, children, extended family responsibilities, friends, time for yourself…this list goes on.  

The article struck a chord with me because it is easy to think that everything is okay if your sexual intimacy is at a great level, your partner appears to be committed and you feel the communication is good- however your partner still may not be happy or could be happier.

So is this what men notice? Although I began this post about outer appearances and women’s somewhat obsession with it….It was at that moment in the wedding where, although I was embarrassed at my husbands response I still had a huge smile on my face and in my heart because I know what my husband notices about me because he tells me all the time and most of the time it has nothing to do with the way I look…

People can forget what you say and even what you do but they will always remember how you made them feel – Robin Sharma

So tell me, how are you generous to your partner?  What are some rituals/traditions you can share?

Yasmin Razack is a Personal + Professional Life Coach who works with for women of diverse backgrounds to discover their limitless potential in all aspects of life. For more information please visit limitlesswomen.ca or email her at yrazack@gmail.com.