What Men Notice + My Purple Nails

What Men Notice + My Purple Nails
By: Yasmin Razack ~ limitlesswomen.ca

So this past Saturday night my husband and I attended a wedding where we were called on stage with six other lucky couples to engage in an activity to win a prize. I was all for it, and my LEO personality wanted to win that prize no matter what. I waited for the instructions:

“We are going to play a game to test the husbands/boyfriends to see how much they pay attention to what their wives/girlfriends are wearing” The men were immediately turned away from us so they couldn’t see a thing.

Ohhhh no. We were couple number 5 out of 6 so I was able to gage the questions before the MC came to us:” What colour are your partner’s bracelets? Shoes? Earrings etc”. I knew immediately we were doomed, I just didn’t know how bad. I hid my hands underneath my sari because I KNEW my husband would NOT have a clue about my bracelets/rings etc.

The MC comes to me, takes my hands out from underneath my sari and asks Vim, “What colour are her nails…?” His answer, “ Ughhh red…no, no Purple!!” he said nervously.

I had a French Manicure. And never in my life have I had red or purple nails.

Which leads to my point. What do men REALLY notice on women? I often used to ask these questions and yes I heard answers related to body parts, good skin, hair and the rare occasion clothes or fashion.  But I often joke with my husband if I were to dye my hair ‘bright pink’ one day I think it would take a lot for him to even notice….why?

I am no expert in this field but as a woman who is somewhat obsessed with fashion and takes a lot of time, energy, thought and money into how I look at that moment I thought, “…he doesn’t even notice!! Why do I do it?”

Yes, there is the dialogue that you look good for yourself, and how you present yourself to the world is a reflection of how much you value yourself. I am not arguing these points, nor am I saying that looking good has no value to it because I believe that it does.

What I would like to say is as a Limitless Woman, for all the time we spend shopping, doing our nails, picking the right outfit, shoes and of course the mother of all things: worrying about our weight and what we are eating:

Who are we really doing it for? And what else could we be doing with our time and energy in our relationships to make it healthier, happier and everlasting?

Recently, the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project studied the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women and found that,

“While sexual intimacy, commitment and communication are important, the focus on generosity adds a new dimension to our understanding of marital success. Though this conclusion may seem fairly self-evident, it’s not always easy to be generous to a romantic partner”

Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning.

In essence 50 % of couples that were more generous to each other were happier. It said “successful couples say or do at least five positive things for each negative interaction with their partner.” Not easy with full-time jobs, children, extended family responsibilities, friends, time for yourself…this list goes on.  

The article struck a chord with me because it is easy to think that everything is okay if your sexual intimacy is at a great level, your partner appears to be committed and you feel the communication is good- however your partner still may not be happy or could be happier.

So is this what men notice? Although I began this post about outer appearances and women’s somewhat obsession with it….It was at that moment in the wedding where, although I was embarrassed at my husbands response I still had a huge smile on my face and in my heart because I know what my husband notices about me because he tells me all the time and most of the time it has nothing to do with the way I look…

People can forget what you say and even what you do but they will always remember how you made them feel – Robin Sharma

So tell me, how are you generous to your partner?  What are some rituals/traditions you can share?

Yasmin Razack is a Personal + Professional Life Coach who works with for women of diverse backgrounds to discover their limitless potential in all aspects of life. For more information please visit limitlesswomen.ca or email her at yrazack@gmail.com.